Bad News...Baltimore?

Spotted on the Charm City Circulator: Bad News.  Nay, naughty news.  

It cannot be denied that todays' news is just atrocious:  murders, tax evasions, and B Movie reviews...oh my!  Clearly this Baltimoron took his anger out on several innocent newspapers.  Next on the news, "Man Wanted for Multiple Newspaper Deaths"?  I certainly hope not, it may lead to more needless slaughter.

Classy wrapping, bro.

Nothing says class like displaying your fervor for health safety right on your hall table. 

I am fairly convinced that this Baltimoron (the very sweet slightly dopy laxer type with one too many concussions) uses these as foreplay.  His words might say, "Hey baby, welcome to my home." But his blatant display of wrapping paper suggests that he cares.    This dude clearly keeps his one night stands classy.

Toto, I don't think we're in Yingling Country no more

I came across this startling discovery in an ally.  I know for a fact that no self respecting Philadelphian would allow such an atrocity.  But this is Baltimore where Boh reigns king.  Clearly mid brew this Baltimoron thought better of it and found themselves a genuine National Bohemian to quench their thrust.   

Why leave the bottles?  I do believe as a stern warning to all those who think they can substitute one for the other.  That or the cops found them...in an alley...next to a liquor store...keeping Baltimore classy. 

A Wizarding Invasion!

I believe some undercover Auror has lost their scarf!  It's the only explanation I can think of...clearly no self respecting Baltimoron would dare done a scarf on the first truly beautiful day we've had all Spring! 

Stay Magically Classy, Baltimore. 

Five-Oh Riding Dirty?

Nothing says 'I live in a classy city' like police on horseback.  Baltimore City doesn't mess around.  Neither do these fine upholders of the law...as they gaze longingly patrol the strip clubs.

Stay classy, Baltimore.

50 Shades of Wrong

Spotted this gem at the local mall...in a store that caters to 'tweens.  That's right folks, you can buy just the cutest handcuff earrings with a side of sexplanations.  This is how the Towson Mall keeps Baltimore Classy.

Free cupcake looking for a delicious home!

My other darling associate found this gem whilst walking the mean and sometimes fattening streets of Baltimore.

she has been quoted as saying, "there's a 90% chance that cupcake is totally fine...right?"  But then again I do believe she knows dangerous culinary decisions are indeed afoot.  Stay classy and sweet Baltimore.

Thirsty?

Poor Baltimorons, I think this has hardly been mislabeled.  

Boh to us is like fine wine to the French.  We love this stuff, are proud of it, and drink it like there is no tomorrow.  We would all like to chalk it up to hometown pride...but let's be honest.  It's cheap and tastes like....well...ya know.  And if you don't...well see below.  Keep it Classy Bmore.

and yes dear readers this has been taken in the gents room.  This blogger kept it classy cause she used her affiliate.  he sent it in from the bowels of Club Charles.

Teach your children well...?

How does one teach their children about Passover?  This question has always plagued me.  I kid of course, because my local grocery store has the perfect answer: Puppet Kits or if you're super lucky BAG O' PLAGUES!

Stay informed and stay classy, Baltimore.

Happy Passover?

Nothing screams 'rockin' seder' quite like this casualty! 

That's  right.  Stay kosher, Baltimore.

Nothing like catching a ride on the back of a car. Seriously, keep it classy bmore.

Ladies and gents, his door was too far away. So at 6 pm this baltimoron decided to keep it classy by napping on the front lawn. Stay classy and yell at those doors for being too far away, Baltimore.

Baltimore is known for having the classiest drivers around.  For example, I was cut off in traffic.  Aggressively.  By whom you ask?  These guys.  They thought I wouldn't beep...little did they know.

Stay classy, Baltimore.

Need to reach new heights?  Fells Point has you covered.  Stay tall, stay classy.

Nothing spells class like informative postings.  I'm glad that our fair city understands that it is indeed a terrifying feat to have men working above you. 

Tumble Weave Strikes Again...

To the lady who lost her wig in South East Baltimore.  We thank you for keeping Baltimore classy.

Now for the legend of the Tumble Weave, a Baltimore classic: Once upon a time,  there lived a sassy B'more, dare I say, hon, who happened upon an even sassier one.  A fight ensued, she hit the dude.  And sadly lost her head.